The Stupidest Things That ThunderClan Ever Did
by Mooneys
Summary: Stupitity. More Stupitity. Yep, lots of Stupitity. The Stupidest Things That ThunderClan has ever done are found in this Fan Fiction. Read at your own risk, you may go insane. After a lack of stupity, the 6th Chapter is up!
1. Graystripe Sings To Darkstripe

**The Stupidest Things That TunderClan has ever done!**

**A/N Woot! I'm Sugar High today! That means, FANFICTION-but a RANDOM Fanfiction! ENJOY! **

**Oh ya, it uses the characters from into the wild**

**Disclaimer! Don't own Warriors, but i do own this story and it you steal it I will come after you with a large pointy stick!**

**WARNING! DON'T GO ANY FARTHER IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!**

"I dare you!" Fireheart said.

"But I might not live!" Graystripe protested.

"Just do it!"

"Okay…" Graystripe walked toward the darkest corner in ThunderClan camp, where Darkstripe sat, probably plotting evil plans.

"Are you sure about this?" Sandstorm asked. Fireheart nodded. "But he could be killed!"

"It's just Graystripe, relax."

"I hope you know what you're doing…"

**Meanwhile…**

"Hi Darkstripe! Can I sing to you?" Graystripe asked enthusiastically.

"No." Darkstripe replied.

"OKAY! HIT IT!" Graystripe shouted, and all the lights went out except for one, which shown on Graystripe.

**Meanwhile…(Yet again)**

"Bluestar! It's a prophecy from StarClan! And a bad one! Run!" Spottedleaf yelled.

"Eh, actually, I think it's just Graystripe." Bluestar replied.

Spottedleaf stopped running in circles. "Oh, okay then, let's watch!"

**Meanwhile…(You're getting tried of this aren't you?)**

"Darkstripe," Graystripe said in a deep, romantic voice. "I know you're hurting. I know you're feeling like you could never love again. Now all I ask, is a chance to prove that I you wrong."

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll say that something  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand."

Fireheart and Sandstorm starred dumbstruck.  
"Oh please, say to me  
You'll let me be your man  
And please, say to me  
You'll let me hold your hand."

Bluestar and Spottedleaf starred dumbstruck.  
"Now let me hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand."

Tigerstripe and Whitestorm starred dumbstruck.  
"And when I touch you I feel happy inside.  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide."

Darkstripe starred dumbstruck.  
"Yeah you've got that something,  
I think you'll understand.  
When I say that something  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand.  
And when I touch you I feel happy inside.  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.  
Yeh, you've got that something,  
I think you'll understand.  
When I feel that something  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand."

"Well? What'd you think?" Graystripe asked happily.

Darkstripe starred.

Starred.

Cough.

Still Starring.

"I'm, here let me try again!" Graystripe said.

"I love you!"

Darkstripe's eyes widened.

"You love me!"

Darkstripe shivered.

"We're a happy family!"

Darkstripe collapsed.

"With a great big huge and a kiss from me to you!"

Darkstripe twitched.

"Won't you say you love me too?"

Silence.

More Silence.

Cough.

Still Silence.

"What do you think Darkstripe?" Graystripe asked.

"That's…That's…" Darkstripe got to his feet. "THAT'S THE NICEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME!"

Darkstripe got up and gave Graystripe a big huge. Graystripe hugged back. It was a beautiful new friendship!

**Cough. COugh Cough. Cough Cough Cough -gets slapped in face- sorry, please review! And read on. And buy me sugar, And -gets slapped in the face again- AND DON'T STEAL IT!**


	2. Tigerclaw Confesses

**The Stupidest Things that ThunderClan had ever done.**

**By Mooneys **

**HIYA! I JUST HAD ICE CREAM SO I'M SUGAR HIGH WHICH IS GOOD! ENJOY!**

**Wait-Okay, I would only recommend reading this is you are 13 or up because it's…well…it's….disturbing, so yeah. **

**WARNING! ONLY READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DON'T VALUE YOUR SANITY!**

**Tigerclaw Confesses**

Bluestar returned to camp happily from her hunting trip. She looked around. Spottedleaf was talking with some queens, and everyone else was out.

"Erm, Bluestar?" Oh StarClan! It was Tigerclaw. He should be hunting, why was he here?

"Yes."

"I would like to talk to you. In private!" He added.

"Okay then, come into my den!" She said and they walked inside.

----

"Well," Tigerclaw began as he sat down in Bluestar's den. "Um, lately, I've been…having _problems._" He said.

_Oh StarClan! _Bluestar thought. _He's got problems! _She looked around, spotted the exit, inched toward it. "Well," She said, "I know just what to do-wait here!" Then, faster than lightening, she was out of the den.

"Spottedleaf! Spottedleaf!" Bluestar shouted, running toward her.

"Yes Bluestar?" She replied sweetly.

"Go to my den!"

"But wh-"

"Just do it! Off you go!" Bluestar meowed, and ushered her off.

"Wonder what her problem was…" Spottedleaf meowed to herself as she entered the den. Tigerclaw was lying down, trying to claw his tail when he spotted her.

"Spottedleaf! Thank StarClan! You came to help with my problems right?" He meowed.

_Problems, oh no… _"What sort of problems?" She asked, hoping for the best.

"Well, you see, I have an…_itch." _An itch? Oh no, it had been moons since she'd she this. "And I need some therapy!" He added.

"Well," Spottedleaf began, taking slow steps toward the exit. "I'm a medicine cat-Thank StarClan" She coughed. "So I can't give you _therapy, _BUT I'll find some who will." She darted toward the exit and ran out before Tigerclaw even had a chance to open his mouth.

"Okay!" Spottedleaf announced as she padded up to the queens. "Tigerstripe needs some help with his problems, any volunteers?"

The she-cats looked at each other. "_Tigerclaw _has problems? Ohhhh…." They all said.

"And I, being a medicine cat, cannot help him, so one of you has to." She added quickly.

"I'LL DO IT!" Cloudpaw shouted, running up.

"No!" Spottedleaf said quickly. "You can't do it!"

"Why not?" Cloudpaw protested.

"Because!" Bluestar began. "You're an apprentice!"

"So? Why can't I help Tigerclaw?"

"Because, I have a top secret mission for you instead."

"Really cool…"

"Listen closely." Bluestar meowed. "Go fetch moss for the elders."

"WHAT? THAT'S NOT A SECRET MISSION!"

"GO!" Bluestar yelled, then chased him out of camp.

"Now," She continued as if nothing unusual had happened. "Volunteers please?"

Silence.

More Silence.

Cough.

Still Silence.

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't have therapy, I mean, think about. Thoughts bubbles appear.

Tigerclaw was standing with a bunch of mini Tigerclaws. "GET THEM, MY MINIONS!" Tigerclaw shouted and the mini-Tigerclaws attacked. Tigerclaw laughed evil, then stopped. "Shoot! Where're going to be late for dinner! RETREAT!" The Minis ran away and Tigerclaw meowed, "I'll get you next time!" Then ran off.

"I'll do it." Goldenflower said.

"But Goldenflower-"

"How bad can it be?" She meowed, then went to Bluestar's den.

"Tigerstripe?" Goldenflower said, entering then den.

"Yes Goldenflower? Are you going to help me with my problems?"

"Yes, yes I am." She said, twitching and beginning to have second thoughts.

"THANK YOU GOLDENFLOWER, I ALWAYS KNEW YOU LIKED ME!" Tigerstripe sobbed, then gave Goldenflower a huge.

"Yes, well, let's get this over with." Goldenflower said, and since that day, Tigerstripe has never cried in front of any she-cat again!

**A/N Thus, Tawnpelt and Brambleclaw are born! Yep, disturbing, I told you but you didn't believe me! Oh well, your loss. Now, I need ideas for the next chapter so PLEASE help me out! THANK YOU! Bye-bye!**


	3. Wild Parties!

**The Stupidest Things That TunderClan Has Ever Done!**

**Wild Parites!**

**A/N Wow! Chapter 3! This is the farthest I've gotten in any of my fanfics! No one gave me an idea, but luckily I thought of one! ENJOY OR ELSE!**

**Disclaimer la de da de da me no own, you no sue!**

"Bluestar," Spottedleaf meowed as she walked up to her leader. "Bluestar, I think you need to go to Moonstone."

"Why should I?" Bluestar snapped. Yep, she was in a bad mood.

"Because," Spottedleaf said calmly. "I had a dream that I think was a prophecy. I say Moonstone with colorful stuff around, and I think you should go ask StarClan what it is."

Bluestar moaned, but nodded.

Since Bluestar was in a bad mood, she traveled to Moonstone alone, refusing help from anyone who asked. When she arrived at Moonstone, she was in an even worse mood because she had been chased by dogs, and had run into a thrown bush.

"This better be good!" She mumbled as she lay down, and went to sleep.

Bluestar opened her eyes and gasped. The StarClan cats were all around her, dancing and cheering and throwing colorful stuff **(Yep, you guessed it. Confetti) **and wearing party cats. "StarClan! What's happened to you?" She shouted. Everyone froze and looked at her.

"Bluestar," Redtail meowed, running up. "It's not what it looks like, I swear!"

Bluestar stepped backwards. "Let's hope…" She whispered.

Bluestar woke with a jump. Yeah! It was only a dream! She decided that was enough talk with StarClan and headed for home. Only to find more surprises.

Bluestar entered her camp and made for her bed. Only to stop half way. She was hearing strange sounds from the elders den, and decided to check it out. She approached slowly and peaked inside.

The whole clan was there, squished tougher and waving there arms in the air. "Oh my…" Bluestar whispered, then ran for it.

She sprinted across the ShadowClan border. "I'M THE ONLY SANE CAT LEFT IN MY CLAN!" She shouted as she ran into ShadowClan territory. "HELP ME BLACKSTAR, PLEASE!" She stopped in her tracks. She was hearing strange sounds from ShadowClan's camp. ShadowClan must be in trouble! Bluestar ran to their rescue.

In ShadowClan camp, there was a large boom box. Blackstar sat on the top of it wearing head phones and spinning around to large circles. (**He's a DJ!**). The rest of the Clan members were cheering, and smacking there hips tougher to the music. "Oh StarClan…" Bluestar murmured, and ran off.

RiverClan! Surely RiverClan was still sane! Maybe she wasn't the only one left! Maybe RiverClan would let her stay with them until her clan members went back to normal. But her hopes were crushed as she saw the RiverClan cats waving their paws in the air and shaking their bootys to the music.

Bluestar ran to fourtrees. What should she do? Was she the only sane person left? WHAT SHOULD SHE DO!

_Bluestar! Do the Chicken Dance!_

Bluestar looked up. "Who are you? And why should I?"

_The author. And because I told you to, and MY WORD GOES! _

"Why are you making me do this?" Bluestar shouted.

_Because, I have writers block._

"Oh, okay then." So Bluestar danced.

Yep, dancing.

Still dancing.

GOT IT!

"WINDCLAN!" Bluestar shouted. "Surely they're still sane! Thank you, author person! **(You're welcome Bluestar!)** So Bluestar ran into WindClan camp, only to find them too partying.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ALL?" Bluestar shouted. "IS EVERYONE NUTS? AM I THE ONLY SANE CAT LEFT?"

"Bluestar," Tallstar meowed happily, as if nothing unusual had happened. "Glad you could come, here's a party hat!" Tallstar placed a purple and red party hat on Bluestar's head.

"Tallstar," Bluestar asked calmly, starring at nothing. "Why, oh StarClan, why is everyone partying?"

Tallstar meowed happily, "Because it's my birthday!"

"It is? I thought it was a moon away…"

"Nope! It's today! All the Clans are celebrating, I feel so special!" Tallstar replied cheerfully. "You came just in time for the Birthday cake! C'mon!" He meowed, and walked off. Bluestar shrugged and followed. Heck, what fun was being the only sane cat left? It was much funnier being insane. Plus, you get more Birthday cake! Yep, there you go! A nice happy ending! **(Or at least, let's hope!)**

**A/N Like it? Not my best, but what the heck, it was fun to write. Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing, I feel oh so very special thanks to you! Once again, I need ideas for the next chapter so please help me! TA TA FOR NOW PEOPLE! **


	4. Favorite Music

**Favorite Music **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors or the songs so leave me alone!**

**A/N HA HA HA I'VE TOTALLY LOST IT! Which, in your case is good. I HAD PIZZA! But not just any pizza, STUFFED CRUST PIZZA! CHEEZE! HYPER! YEAH! Special thanks to my best friend, editor, or Tigerstripe for the songs. LOVE YA TIGY! HA**

One day, Fireheart and Graystripe, were asking kitty cats what their favorite songs were for, I don't know use your imagination! Anyway, they went up to Bluestar and asked, "Bluestar, what's your favorite song?"

"Safari of course!" Bluestar replied happily.

"Why?" Fireheart asked.

"I like the tone! It goes like this!" Bluestar said, then began to sing.

"We are going on a safari

See the lions from my ferrari

Hope we do not get the malari

It's safari time!"

Fireheart and Graystripe ran to Sunningrocks while they still could. "That was close!" Graystripe panted.

"Yeah, I think I'd have gone insane if I had to hear more of BLuestar's singing."

"GRAYSTRIPE!"

"DARKSTRIPE!" Graystripe shouted, and ran to his friend.

"Hey Darkstripe," Graystripe asked while giving Darkstripe a big hug. "What's your favorite song?"

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand." Darkstripe said, letting go of Graystripe.

"Why?" Graystripe asked.

"Because you sung it to me!" Darkstripe meowed.

"Oh, Darkstripe!" Graystripe meowed, and gave Darkstripe another hug.

Meanwhile, Silverstream was patrolling the ThunderClan border and saw the two love birds. **(A/N Did that sound wrong?) **

"Oh, hey Silverstream!" Fireheart said, running up to her happy to find another sane cat. "Can you tell me, what's your favorite song?"

"Total Annihilation." Silverstream hissed, glaring at the hugging Graystripe and Darkstripe.

"I've never heard that song, how does it go?" Fireheart asked.

"DIE DIE DIE! KILL KILL KILL! DIE DIE DIE! KILL KILL KILL! DIE DIE DIE! KILL KILL KILL!" She shouted, then leaped at Graystripe.

"AHHHHHH!" Graystripe shouted, and ran into the RiverClan camp. **(A/N How'd he get there so fast? He teleported, that's how.) **

"HI LEOPARDSTAR!" Graystripe shouted as he leaped in front of her and nearly scared the leader to death.

"Graystripe, what are you doing here?" She asked.

"Hiding from Silverstream, but that's not the point, what's RiverClan's favorite song?"

"That's easy." Leopardstar began, "It's..." She took a deep breath, then began to sing.

Under the sea  
Under the sea  
Darling it's better  
Down where it's wetter  
Take it from me  
Up on the shore they work all day  
Out in the sun they slave away  
While we devotin'  
Full time to floatin'  
Under the sea

"Why?"

"Because we swim of course!" Leopardstar said.

"But that still doesn't make any sense…"

"Graystripe! There you are!" Fireheart said. "C'mon, we gotta go ask ShadowClan!"

"Bye!" Leopardstar waved as they left.

Graystripe waved back as Fireheart dragged him away.

Waved some more

Still waving

I'm tried

Now for the decision

Chocolate or Vanilla

Chocolates better

Oh, sorry, about Graystripe, he's still waving.

Okay he stopped now

Sigh, guess I gotta get back to the story,

Aw well, here you go!

"Blackstar! Blackstar!" Fireheart called.

"Yes."

"We wanted to ask, what's ShadowClan's favorite song?"

"That's a simple question, I'll sing it to you!" Blackstar said happily.

"I'm a Barbie girl,

in a Barbie world,

It's so fantastic,

Everthing is,

Made of plastic!"

"And-And why is that your favorite song?" Fireheart stuttered.

"It makes me feel pretty!" Blackstar said in a very girlie voice.

"You can brush my hair,

Or take me any where,"

Fireheart and Graystripe chose this moment to make a run for it.

"That-that-was…was..close…" Graystripe stuttered once Fireheart and him had entered the cavern where the moon stone was. I forgot the name of it and I'm to lazy to go look! So deal with it.

"Yeah, yeah, hey, while we're here, why don't we ask StarClan what their favorite song is?"

"Yeah good idea!" Graystripe meowed excitedly. "Oh StarClan, what is your favorite song?" Graystripe asked.

"Graystripe, that's not how you do it-" Suddenly, words spiraled down into the place which name I forgot, and voices began to sing

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,  
How I wonder what you are.  
Up above the world so high,  
Like a diamond in the sky.  
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,  
How I wonder what you are!

"THANK YOU!" Graystripe shouted. Fireheart stared dumbstruck at the words. "C'mon Fireheart, you can't just sit there, we've still got to ask WindClan!"

"Right…" Fireheart said weakly, but followed Graystripe to WindClan camp.

"Hi Fireheart, Graystripe, how can I help you?" Tallstar asked. **(A/N They teleported again okay? Don't like it, to bad!)**

"We were wondering what WindClan's favorite song is!" Graystripe asked.

"Yeah, we're asking everyone!" Fireheart added.

"Well, Windclan's favorite song is,"

DORA!   
BOOTS!  
Come On Dora!

D D D Dora (Alright!)  
D D D Dora (giggle)  
D D D Dora  
D D D Dora (Let's Go)  
Dora Dora Dora the Explorer  
DORA  
Boots is super cool  
Explore with Dora (We need your help)  
Grab your backpack  
Lets Go!  
Jump In!  
Vamonos!  
You can lead the Way  
HEY! HEY!  
D D D Dora

D D D Dora

D D D Dora

D D D Dora

Fireheart and Graystripe ran as fast as very little miget legs would take them, not wanting to hear anymore of the horrible Dora's theme song.

"I'm glad to be home!" Fireheart said.

"Me too! Away from all the crazy cats and very songs!"

"Many nice surprises

Are waiting in the jungle

Girlie oh Girlie

We're going on safari

I'll show you the goatees

The chickens and the monkeys

So if you don't wanna come

I will go there any way"

Bluestar sung, walking past the cats.

"AHHH!" They screamed, and ran to the medicine cat's den were they found SPOTTEDLEAF AND CLAWFACE! They where sitting tougher with a radio listening to a classic song by Bach.

"Bat" Spottedleaf was saying.

"Bach" Clawface corrected.

"Batch!"

"Bach"

"What are you two doing?" FIreheart asked.

"Oh, hello you two." Spottedleaf said calmly. "Clawface was showing me his favorite song, it's by Bacs!"

"Bach!"

"Bah?"

"BACH!"

"We'll leave you two alone," Fireheart said. "C'mon Graystripe, let's get some rest."

"ROAR!" Clawface shouted.

**A/N And that's the real reason Spottedleaf died! She couldn't pronounce the name right, so Clawface killed her! It didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to, but it's alright. PLEASE REVIEW IT YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE! **


	5. Scary Stories

**Scary Stories**

**A/N Nothing to say, oh wait, this one is for a kid in my English class and all his stupidity -**

**ENJOY OR ELSE! -**

"Attention Clan!" Bluestar shouted because the author was to lazy to do the official calling. "Today is the day all She-cats go to Riverclan and all toms to Shadowclan! So get your lazy buts over there right now!"

"Yes ma'm!" Everyone shouted because they didn't want to feel the wrath of Bluestar.

LA DA DA EVERY TOM WENT TO SHADOWCLAW LA DA DA

"Hey everyone!" Tigerclaw shouted, "Let's tell scary stories all night long!"

"Okay," Graystripe meowed happily, "I'll go first, one time, BLACKSTAR SANG BARBIE GIRL TO ME!"

Everyone gasped and turned to Blackstar. Blackstar blushed and said, "It makes me feel pretty!"

"Well, everyone deserved to feel pretty!" Littlecloud said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Me next!" Cloudpaw shouted. "One time, I was trapped inside a twoleg house with a dog! And we played checkers all night long."

"What is checkers?" Someone asked.

"I have no freakin' clue!" Cloudpaw shouted.

"MY TURN!" Whitestorm shouted. "Once, when I was an apprentice, I found an abounded Ice Cream truck! So I stole it and rode around selling Ice Cream!"

"Can you give us Ice Cream too?" Graystripe asked.

"No,"

"And why not?" Cloudpaw asked.

"Because Tigerclaw stole it from me!"

"That was so mean of him!" Blackstar said.

"Hey, Tigerclaw, give your worst rival some Ice Cream!" Fireheart called.

"I can't!" The kitty cat said. "BECAUSE I ATE THE ICE CREAM TRUCK! MWAWAWAWAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA!" Suddenly, a large rock fell from the sky and hit Tigerclaw on the head. "WHO DID THAT?" The sugar-high tom shouted.

"Hurry Hannah," The author said, "he's on to us!"

"Retreat!" The editor, Hannah said.

"Okay, that was creepy…" Fireheart said.

So they continued the night with scary stories and the actionable rock being dropped on Tigerclaw's head. Whitestorm told how he had high jacked a UPS truck. Darkstripe told about how Graystripe had sung to him. And Smallear told a story so scary that no one got any sleep.

"Fireheart?" Graystripe murmured.

"Yes, Graystripe?" Fireheart asked.

"Do she-cats really come during the night and make you pretty?"

"I don't know!"

"Maybe one of use should stand guard?" Darkstripe suggested.

"I'll do it!" Cloudpaw announced, and walked to the entrance of Shadowclan camp.

The next day everyone had woke up and saw that Cloudpaw was….well, lets just say, Cloudpaw was pretty.

"They made me pretty!" Cloudpaw sobbed. Make up ran down his face.

"Ha ha look at you!" Everyone laughed. Then, there was a bright flash of light and all the toms BECAME PRETTY! "AH!" They all screamed and ran to the she-cats.

"What do you want from us?" Longtail cried.

"Oh nothing, just complete control of the forest!" Bluestar meowed.

"You can have!" And the males shouted, and so girls ruled the world-I mean, SHE-CATS RULED THE FOREST! MWAHAHAHHAHA!

Then, the decided to give toms back equal rights because they're so nice. And Tallstar and Blackstar became leaders again, why Leopardstar and Bluestar just laughed at everyone because they were already leaders. Then, cookies fell from the sky and everyone cheered.

Then, the editor and author came down with pitchforks and torches, screaming "KILL SQUIRRELFLIGHT! KILL SQUIREELFLIGHT!"

"Who's Squirrelflight?" Sandstorm asked.

"Whoops, Squirrelflight isn't born yet, TO THE FUTURE!" The author shouted, and they were gone.

**A/N Be nice boys, because if your not girls will come and make you pretty! Don't take is personally if you're a boy. Oh shoot, the freaks in white coats with an over large needle are coming again, gotta go hide, BYE! Dives under the bed and waves. **


	6. I Will Survive!

**The Stupidest Things that ThunderClan had ever done.**

**By Mooneys **

**Yo! Been along time eh? Well, I'M STILL ALIVE! AND SUGER HIGH! WOOH! Wooh, my grammar and stuff was BAD when I wrote this. I hope this one is better!**

**WARNING! ONLY READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DON'T VALUE YOUR SANITY!**

**I Will Survive**

**Disclaimer: **

**Author: Nope, don't own warriors.**

**Fireheart: Good thing, too**

**Author: AH! HOW ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?**

**Fireheart: Now that you started up this fic again, I can talk to you.**

**Author: Oh. Okay. Do you have any lemonade?**

**Fireheart: What's lemonade?**

**Author: CLAN-CATS DON'T HAVE LEMONADE? Gosh, it MUST be HellClan.**

**Fireheart: Hey! Anyhow, The Author or Editor that doesn't edit DON'T own warriors, or else strange things would have happened. And since the Author's insane, I'll tell you on her behalf to enjoy the story!**

**Author: NO LEMONADE?**

Barkface stood over Tallstar twitching body. It was a few days after they had moved into their new territories, and, despite what Erin Hunter says, Tallstar was still breathing, or wheezing rather. "Tallstar," He meowed sadly."What is it, Barkface?" Tallstar coughed, his soulful eyes looking into Barkface's sad ones. "Well, Tallstar," Barkface began, shuffling his paws nervously. "I'm afraid you'll be hunting with StarClan soon.""NO! NEVER!" Tallstar called out so abruptly it caused Barkface to jump."But why not Tallstar? StarClan will welcome you among their ranks!" "No," Tallstar wheezed. "I will…I will…I WILL SURVIVE!" He then leaped up and sprinted out of the medicine cat's den, Barkface following closely behind. When Barkface reached the clearing Tallstar stood in the center, WindClan all around him, with every light gone but one that shone on Tallstar.

"First I was afraid  
I was petrified" He sang, pointing toward the crowd of cats.  
"Kept thinking I could never live  
without you by my side" Her pointed down at a little puny bug by his side.  
"But I spent so many nights  
thinking how you did me wrong  
I grew strong  
I learned how to carry on  
and so you're back  
from outer space  
I just walked in to find you here  
with that sad look upon your face  
I should have changed my stupid lock  
I should have made you leave your key  
If I had known for just one second  
you'd be back to bother me"

"I WILL SURVIVE!" Tallstar called out, despite the lyrics he was reading off of. "I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIE! I WILL SURVIVE!" Then, Tallstar leaped out of WindClan camp in one strong jump and began rocketing toward ThunderClan. "We've got to go after him!" Barkface cried and ran off toward ThunderClan territory. When he reached the forest cat's camp, he found them all applauding his leader. But there was something different about Tallstar…HE WAS WEARING A MR. INCREDIBLE SUIT! ZOMG! "Thank you, thank you very much," Tallstar said in a deep voice into a microphone. "Now, for my next piece. I will survive by Gloria Gaynor, and no the author doesn't own it so don't sue her!" The lights went out and Tallstar continued.

"Go on now go walk out the door  
just turn around now  
'cause you're not welcome anymore  
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
you think I'd crumble  
you think I'd lay down and die  
Oh no, not I  
I will survive  
as long as I know how to love  
I know I will stay alive  
I've got all my life to live  
I've got all my love to give  
and I'll survive  
I will survive!"

"I WILL SURVIVE!" Tallstar ended, followed by clapping. "Like, ZOMG, I'm your biggest fan!" Squirrelflight called in an extremely girly voice. "Tallstar!" Barkface cried. "What are you doing? You must get back to camp!""NEVER!" Tallstar shouted. "FOR I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIE! I WILL SURVIVE!" He then took off again, toward ShadowClan territory."Oh no! They'll kill him if they find him in their territory!" Bluestar cried. Yep, she's here to because the author brought her back for the purpose of this story. Authors can do that you know. Yep, they sure can. Now comes the big event you've all been waiting for. Ice or Water.How can I chose? Suck on Ice? Or Drink Water? WAIT! I KNOW!I'll mix them together!See, I'm so smart!

My teachers just don't see it.

Oh dear, I've wondered away from the story line.

And if only took me…counts…7 lines. That's strange.

Usually it takes me twenty.

I'M LOSING MY TOUCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"STOP THAT ALREADY!" Bluestar cried, smacking the author.

"Ow! Fine you ungrateful little flee bag. And so-"

A ThunderClan patrol accompanied by Barkface set off toward ShadowClan camp.

"I hope he sings again!" Squirrelflight said in joy. "I just love him!"

"But I thought you loved me?" Brambleclaw cried out in agony.

"I do Brambleclaw. But can you sing?"

"No,"

"Then we're through!"

"WAAAAAAA!" Brambleclaw then went off crying and Squirrelflight told Leafpool about her love for Tallstar's music.

Then they went through many epics to get through ShadowClan territory that you can think up yourself because you have an imagination and I'm too lazy to type it up to get to the camp. When they arrived, scarred for life for something horrendous battle that I don't feel like describing, they found Tallstar once again singing.

"I WILL SURVIVE!" He broke out. "SURVIVE, SURVIVVE, SURIVIVE!"

"TALLSTAR!" Squirrelflight screamed, climbing up onto the platform that had magically appeared as Tallstar sang. "I'm your biggest fan!"

Suddenly, a shovel came down on Tallstar's head. "Oh no! I missed!" The author cried out, agonized. "I was aiming for Squirrelflight…" Then she realized who she had hit. "IT'S TALLSTAR!" She scooped up the confused kitty and hugged him very, VERY tightly. "He's so cute!"

"TALLSTAR!" Barkface shrieked, terrified for his leader's wellbeing.

"Quick, Hannah!" The author cried. "Take us back."

Suddenly, a brunette editor that doesn't edit walked out holding a strange looking machine and pressed a button, and she, the author, and Tallstar vanished, but the machine remained.

"TALLSTAR!" Everyone screamed again.

"MY IDOL!" Squirrelflight sobbed.

**To be Continued….**

**Next time,**

"What's _that?" _Fireheart cried. He was still a warrior because the author said so.

"Dunno," Graystripe replied, read above for details, poking it. "What do you think we can do with it?"

---

"DON'T MOVE!" The author shouted, Tallstar still in her arms.

"Oh StarClan!" Bluestar cried. "What's that?"

"Something else in the twoleg world, I assume." Leafpool told her.

"Well, it's scary whatever it is," Cloudpaw shuddered, who was still an apprentice because read a few lines up.

**NEXT TIME**

**We're off to save Tallstar! Or not.**

**A/N I'm alive, despite my lack of updates. I had really bad writing skills when I wrote this last, I hope I improved and you enjoyed. Toodles! A review or two please! And note, I wrote this in what? Thirty minutes?**


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